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Kick 'em in the Bolls!

Posted by Unknown On 2006-06-13 6 comments

You know I'm pretty sick right now and despite the fact that I feel like shit, am doped into stupidity by cold medication, and am stressed beyond belief about work this article puts a big ole smile on my face!

Y'all know who Uwe Boll is right? In case you've been fortunate enough to never hear of him, he is the prat that brought us the films: "Alone in the Dark," "House of the Dead," and most recently "BloodRayne." He is also making films based on Postal, Dungeon Siege, and Far Cry video games. All of his work is shit. All of it, without exception. If you feel the need to defend any of his work to me save your breath and assume that we will agree to disagree.

There's an interesting theory floating around that the reason Uwe kept getting financing for his films was that up until recently there was a German law that allowed you write off dismal film failures; and his backers were making money off of the crap he spewed forth. Well the law has been changed and hopefully Uwe will disappear.

In the meantime the arrogant kraut (he blames everyone but himself for the failure of his films) has decided that he's had enough of being citicized and has issued a challenge to critics that involves a boxing match with Uwe. I hope one of you can represent for us and kick the tar out of the little prat!

Details on the link.

6 comments:

Unknown said...

I am fascinated by the shit bowl of utter strangeness that our world has become. I personally gave "Alone In The Dark" one star*.

* that star of course went supernova and then collapsed into a massive black hole that sucked a large portion of my consciousness into an oblivion from which it can never return...

Unknown said...

You, my old friend, are spot on with that one. Talk about being robbed of time, and life, and all other things that are worth living for.

Ironically Boll completely blamed the failure of the film on Tara Reid. And, at the premiere he pestered all the actors to get up on stage with him, then instructed them not to speak, because actors should only speak when they are told to...

What a knob.

rainswept said...

It looks bad... real bad. Now I know why the Abskani disappeared.

But how were Christian Slater and Stephen Dorff?

ScrewLoose said...

Christian Slater and Stephen Dorff... normally good actors but they had no chance to redeem that movie. It was doomed from the start with a horrible script and bad directing. I can't believe they actually signed on to see that movie.

Kyro rated it perfectly.

Boll should be banned from ever making a movie again.

ScrewLoose said...

I would like to add that I seriously doubt that Postal would make a good movie regardless of who made it. Lets be honest Postal 2 was a game where you could become a crack addict, use cats to silence a shot gun, and after setting your self on fire you could piss straight up to douse the flames...

While amusing I just don't see why you would make a movie from the game franchise.

rainswept said...

I think Kyro should redesign this site to look like http://gopostal.com/...

Ooops, my brain is still jet-lagged from my visit to the land of what was barely cool in 1996.